I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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