Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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