I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Randomize
