I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
