I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
