never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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