I swear she didn't look like that last week.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
