I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
