Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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