Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize