And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize