butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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