she woke up with a sticky ear
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
