he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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