Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
