You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
