Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
