tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
