We're like a lot better than the average bears
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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