2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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