i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize