if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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