My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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