i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
