mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
