Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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