i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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