I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
