is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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