his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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