hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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