Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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