I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
3pm strippers are depressing
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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