I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm getting married
To pizza
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
