he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
