I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
pray to the hookup gods
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
