quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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