Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
