If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
