In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize