did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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