I'm really into asian looking animals
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
