please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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