Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
