She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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