Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
