so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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