That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
