I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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