I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
