The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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