I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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