dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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