therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
