If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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