Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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