Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
