nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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